Cold Within The Sound

 Also published for : Thursday Poets Rally 

Dear friends,

It’s a little while ago that I published here at WP, but today I just have to publish a nice haiku, maybe a tanka, in response on the Ghost Writer post by Jen Rosenberry of Blog It or Lose It about Rengetsu. As you maybe know I have a daily haiku meme at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai (CDHK) and every Wednesday I have a so called Ghost-writer to share an article on CDHK. This Ghost Writer post was about the female poet Rengetsu who has written wonderful Tanka.
I am not a great Tanka writer and it’s not my favorite poetry-form, but I thought … “maybe I have to give it a try … let me write a Tanka”. A Tanka is a five-line poem following a few “haiku-like” rules, one of them is the 5-7-5-7-7 rule.

Here is my try, once in a life-time, to write a Tanka:

through the morning-mist
the sound of footsteps in the snow
the cold early morning
sounds louder than my heartbeat

© Chèvrefeuille

Well … this is my try to write a Tanka in the sphere of Rengetsu. Not a strong one, but … well … sometimes you have to think out of the box …

Winter Landscape

Credits: Winterlandscape

14 thoughts on “Cold Within The Sound

  1. Oh, this is wonderful, Chev! The crunch of snow first thing in the morning — it can be so loud, almost sharp —

    Really enjoyed this tanka. I’m still learning all the rules myself — but — it seemed very strong to me. 😀

  2. The sound of the crunch, and the mist of breath –
    Knowing we are alive – that is the rhythm of natures heartbeat, yes? 🙂

    We are always so hard on ourselves.
    You put us right there with you – just beautiful.

  3. I like this possible reading – that the footsteps aren’t the narrator’s own, that this is a romantic rendezvous and that’s why he’s so aware of his heartbeat 😉

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